A long overdue tribute to Ghost Rider

Ghost Rider, the theatrical adaptation of the Marvel Comics character opens today, starring Nicholas Cage (Getting to play a comic book character after angling to play every superhero ever, like Iron Man and Superman and Keep Squeezin Them Monkeys Lad).


I have never been a fan of the character. Flaming skulls should only be used as metal band logos. But despite this, the character has endured, even though no one has read a Ghost Rider comic since 1993. Marvel made many attempts to revive the character's popularity, even teaming him up with Wolverine whenever they felt that milking Wolverine could help revive the Rider of the Ghost. And whenever Marvel unveiled a new lineup for the Fantastic Four or the Avengers or the Dear God, We Need to Eat Something Team, Ghost Rider was there. There was even a 2099 variant of Ghost Rider, because 2099 was the in thing to do. In 1994. Method Man likes Ghost Rider, proving that no matter how hood you are, you can still be a geek and do deoderant commercials. Ghost Rider has a super power known as the Penance Stare, which Beavis & Butthead referred to as the Penis Stare. And finally, Ghost Rider even had his own PBS series where he taught inner city youths to read and solve mysterie


Which segues me into another episode of Mickery Reads (suckers!). And today we have Ghost Rider #29 from 1992 and it guest stas.....Wolverine! Who would've thunk it?


We begin with a stickup on the mean streets of Connetticut. Which is this issue's first problem. Why is anything being set in Connetticut? It was 1992, so yeah, the Whalers were probably playing a home game...but it's not like they were any good. Hell, if they knew Ghost Rider and Wolverine were season ticket holders, maybe they wouldn't have hauled ass to Carolina in 97. In fact, maybe that one single oversight would've saved the NHL. I place the blame solely on the Whalers' ownership.


Another problem: The ingrate's only carrying 5 bucks. If people are gonna mug you, you should at least have the common courtesy to at least be carrying a twenty. Lucky for him though, Ghost Rider is there to save his sorry ass and his 5 bucks. It's revealed why Ghost Rider is in Connetticut. He's there to stop Lillith. Which makes sense, I suppose, but I don't think Sarah McLachlin thought of it yet. He should keep focusing his energies on keeping the Whalers in Hartford. He's still got a few years before he needs to worry.

That leads us to Wolvie's contractually obligated guest spot. He's followed his nose to the delicious taste of Fruit Loops and the scent of Ghost Rider. And he's brought Beast with him. Beast spouts big book learnin words which Wolvie ignores. His sense senses something wrong with Ghost Rider's scent. Hey, stop sensing things Wolvie, that's Spidey's schtick.

In the wealthier part of town (The town of Connetticut), another drama is unfolding. The horrors of....LAYOFFS! A personal security agency is laying off some of it's more super-inclined enforcers. And they aren't too happy. They didn't even get a gold watch for their services. One gets the impression that these guys aren't on the level, however. Probably because their post termination plans involve setting the building they worked in on fire. An innocent is killed in the blaze, and that summons Ghost Rider. For wherever ther's innocent blood spilled, or a sandwich,he will arrive to exact vengeance. Yes, even vengeance on the sandwich. For it's the sandwich's fault it is a sandwich and delicious.


They trap Ghost Rider in a net. I don't know why his headfire isn't helping him get out, but okay, that's a perfect chance to involve Wolvie in his latest adventure. Wolvie slashes through the net. Wolvie makes an odd random reference to Cable and Beast reminds us all that he and Wolvie are part of the X Men and join Ghost Rider in his quest for vengeance. For this issue. And take on the bad guys. Who used to be good guys. One of those guys, Agent-X is going to use his deadliest weapon. He says he has "A load I've been saving for a special occasion". I didn't know you could do that. Agent-X's load shoots Ghost Rider's jaw off. Maybe, I don't know...that's the way he's always drawn. Whatever happened, it sure pissed off Wolverine. The new Supervillian Protection team (or whatever) begins to call themselves the Next Wave. The days of X Men and Penis Stares are over. They fire on Wolvie and Beast. And even though they're perfectly capable to handle this on their own, Ghost Rider pulls himself back together to save the day (Eh...his book, I guess).

Wolvie never does find out what it is that he sensed. Or rather, he does, but Marvel steadfastly refuses to tell us what it is. And all that crap about Lillith, well we never find out about that. But the mean streets of the town of Connetticut are safe, thanks to Ghost Rider and his temporary sales boosting appearing buddies!


As for this issue's ads, we get a wide selection...between video games and sports cards. So if you like those, you'll love this issue. We've got ads for video game adaptations of Taz-Mania, Hook, and Hudson Hawk(?) and Mark Rypien helps us to discover the wonders of 1992 Fleer football. News that's exciting to fans of crappy overproduced football cards and Tork_110s.

Well that's it....now you know all you need to know before you head into theaters to watch Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider. Except that, by the time I post this entry, it's already out of theaters. Sorry about that.