Mickery reads Lobo #43!

Ah.....God bless the man that created the Comic Book Grab Bag promotion. You know, the kind of comics you get in mail orders that advertise "Free comics with purchase of (x amount of) $$$ value!". Sounds great on paper...who doesn't love free comics? Til you realize they're the same shitty back issues the store couldn't sell in the first place. Sure, you can find some good stuff sometimes....if you're working on a run of a title, you might be able to fill some holes and maybe you'll even get some books that are future goldmines, like maybe the artist gets hot and that's his first issue or whatever...it's happened. Not to me, but I'm sure somewhere it's happened to someone at some poin in time.


Anyway, I've got a bunch of this crap (And, sad to say not all of it was from grab bags...I actually bought some of this stuff sepratly....hey, this buyer doesn't usually beware) so since I have nothing better to do for this blog (And I gotta do something while downloading podcasts on a dialup connection), I think I'll check some of this stuff out and give my (Possibly but don't hold your breath) entertaining recaps.



Anyhoo......right now I have an issue of Lobo. Now, Lobo was prone to outbursts of violence, insane delusions of grandeur and enjoyed a brief window of popularity in the 90s.....no wait....that was Fred Durst.....now I'm all confused. Better get to the comic....To learn more about Lobo, consult your local library, or his wiki page:


We begin with a badly worded plea, to consider the lonely existence of the men working to repair your roads. They have feelings too damn it! And we take them for granted....you should all be ashamed. Luckily, I live on a dirt road and don't have to take these issues into consideration. Seeing as how Lobo and his pals are only posing as a road crew, I don't know why they should be taking these issues into consideration either. I hate it when people try to get false sympathy from me.

It's a big day in the Lobo household. His buddy's nephew is ready for his first kill as a professional bounty hunter. They grow up so fast. But they don't want Lobo mucking it up!

Speaking of mucking, one of Lobo's trademarks was the "clever" substituting of clean soundalike words for swears, the most famous examples in Lobo being Frag and Bastich. My favorite being Duckweed. A word so great it appears about 3 dozen times in this issue.. Duckweed, everybody, duckweed!

THe kids a little nervous about his big day....after all, when you're dad says he's gonna make a man out of ya, you think he's gonna hire a prostitute for you. I mean, killing people is so 1997....oh wait, this is 1997. Anyway, the phony road crew has had their cover blown. That's what they get for not whistling at girls. 'Tis ok though, Lobo just beats the crap out of the policemen giving him a hard time. That'll show 'em! Fuc....er, Frag the Police! Yeah!

At this poin, the target makes himself known, and it's one pissed off baby! Not just an ordinary baby with a bad case of diaper rash either. It's some super advanced baby with the mind of an adult, like Baby Herman or that one Wayans brother (Except for the advanced adult mind part)! The kid is afraid! He can't take out a baby! Even if he has hired an army and killed half the people on the planet. Baby killing is just wrong! Even if it was the baby's mother who called in the hit. Lobo throws a grenade at the baby, but the kid distracts Lobo just enough to frag up his aim. But it's ok...the grenade lands next to the baby's robot and the explosion knocks the robot into the hole they dug, so instead of killing one killer baby, he's squished a bunch of innocent road maintenance workers to death in the process. Geez....didn't the kid read the speech in the beginning? Disrespectful punk.....you know, I'm glad the robot eventually exploded and killed the kid. He deserved it.

And as for the baby, don't worry...not even a big blowhard like Lobo could bring himself to kill a baby...at least for this issue....Lobo just gives him a couple much needed spankings and makes him think about what he did. Awwww....so sweet.


Part of the fun of checking out old comics is looking at the horribly dated ads. This issue feels it's imperative we know about Space Jam premiering on Pay Per View and the EXCITING comic adaptation of Shaquille O'Neal's new hit movie, Steel. Good to know.


So now you know what happens in a ten year old comic that no one read when it came out. I know you need to know these things and I'm only happy to end your curiosity. That was fun, and maybe I'll just do it again someday.