Wolverine's Retarded Cousins!

To this day, little is still known about Wolverine. But one thing's apparent: he's not as Canadian as he claims! In fact, judging by the evidence, his family hails from the South! Check out all the inbreeding! Obsoive!



Albert




You know a comic needs a sales boost when even the villains are riding your coattails.....


Albert was built by villains to....um....do something....but then he became friends with Wolverine and they had adventures and isn't that a happy story?




Zombie Wolverine



He's the best he is at what he does...and what he does is bite your ass!



Nigel Wolvington the Third




Nigel made his first appearance in the "classic" Grim Reaper video for the song Fear No Evil


Like all good Grim Reaper videos, the video found it's way to Beavis & Butthead, where the two debated on whether or not Nigel was in fact, Wolverine. This seemed like pandering since Marvel was publishing the B&B comic at the time, but Mike Judge probably figured that in a few years they'd get stoned and see the X-Men movie a bunch of times (And they would probably love a line about toads getting hit by lightning if only a visionary like Joss Whedon would come up with the line and not be credited....oh...if only....)


Nigel has a surprising amount of staying power. In 2005 Nigel popped up again in, of all places, the original video for Weezer's We are All on Drugs. This is completly real. I am not making this up. It's not some stupid fan thing! It's real and it's spectacular!





Dark Claw


You got Batman in my Wolverine! Well you got Wolverine in my Bat....woah....that sounds really dirty.....



Shoeverine


The X-Men are known for preaching tolerance. Sworn to protect those who fear them and throw bottles of Pabst Blue Ribbon at them. But for a group that's all about the tolerance, they can be a group of real biggoted assholes sometimes. Take Shoeverine. He's like Wolverine, except he has shoes for hands. Apparantly that shit don't fly with Xavier and company, so they rold him to hit the road!

One day, the X-Men are gonna need a guy with shoes for hands to save their lives, and I hope Shoeverine spits on them.

Real Wolverines

Where do they get off anyway?