-The Golden State Warriors pulled off a surprising upset of the #1 seeded Dallas Mavericks in the NBA playoffs. This was attributed to the fact that Mavericks owner Mark Cuban could not locate a "Golden State" on his map of the U.S. It's been suggested that the Mavericks are also not Maverick enough. They'll attempt to remedy this situation during the offseason by signing that MAVERICK, Dr. House.
-Curt Schilling, who's already spent part of this season embroiled in a controversy about 3 year old dirty laundry, criticized slugger Barry Bonds. He later apologized for his comments saying "I'm just saying what everyone is thinking." Barry Bonds response, issued through a publicist, "BARRY SMAAAASH. WHY NOT PUNY HUMANS LEAVE BARRY ALONE?"
-Teaser commercials for Madden 08 began appearing during last week's NFL Draft. The game once again adds exciting new features, including mandatory drug tests for the players at home and a free cup with purchase. This year's game comes with a free Vince Young voodoo doll on the cover. LaDanian Tomlinson was asked to appear on the cover, but declined due to his being kind of a pussy. Devin Hester will become the first player in Madden history to have an attribute of a perfect 1000. That attribute being the ability to change the face of the Super Bowl for about 3 seconds.
_This week in hockey....well who the hell cares? But everyone does care about the 1985 Fitchburg Massachusetts street hockey Maxim Marauders and their star player, one MickeyTGardener.
Mickey was once traded during a game to the other team because they were shorthanded and in the 85 season, never scored, setting an early precedent for his life.
That has been This Week in BALLS! Tune in next week and see if I give enough of a rats ass to make this kind of post again.
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